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I've never really been into the Fantastic Four, but the live-action Silver Surfer looks pretty cool, as shown from the upcoming movie sequel. I'd venture to guess that the movie may even feature, like, Galactus and shit.
Forgive me, but there's no shortage of proof that many singers either don't listen to themselves, or fail to do so objectively. Correct me if I'm wrong.
So I got a MySpace invite from a band called The Turn. The recording quality of their songs is good, and one of them is actually in 7/4 time, so they can't be totally lame. Overall, though, they sound too much like everyone else I've heard who's currently popular. And I'm not sure what to do with this hype:
With Patrick Gavigan on vocals, Phil Gardner on drums, Don Beaudoin on bass and Corey Crawford on guitar, The TURN truly defines what is meant to be an intense live act. Patricks unique voice crafts the sound of The TURN through a smooth ghostly delivery countered by a growl maintaining melody and musicality. His dynamic stage presence and tight rhythmic guitar work set off this explosive live band and guide the songs into place.
Much is the case with The Turns dynamic and dramatic writing style. They come with smart melodic hooks disguised in heavy rhythmic codes smothered in harmony. A unique blend that stands alone in todays power-pop/über-punk scene, The Turn offers no gimmicks, just honesty in music. Their name is about the choice in life, the left and right, the good and bad, the yes or no, the moment of decision, the TURN.
I really hope they didn't write that themselves. Yowtch.
I may be adding them to my New Harbingers Of Pith page, but only on a probationary basis.
I'm awesome at networking.
This Onion story about Terrell Owens isn't remotely hysterical. The man is a goddamn hero, okay?
Maybe next year is the year I finally give that one ancestor a life-size puppet of myself, so she can reach her hand up its ass and make it respond exactly the way she wants, and express every emotional nuance she's ever dreamed I'd share with her. They can laugh and cry and watch Oprah together.
Now I'll admit, I'm not exactly the sharpest moccasin on the dessert tray, but don't you think that if Santa Claus was real, I'd know about it?!
"There is Danger in the Cell Phone and other anomalous Towers popping up all over the place and I'm going to tell you how to prevent their effects with Orgone Blasters and how to get rid of chemtrails and keep them away from your yard and/or neighborhood, town, city or state."
Finally - a tangible object you can buy that "keeps demonic entities out of your home and yard!" And it's totally not the same exact thing as charms or talismans or rosaries or this.
A good way to make a lot of money would be to open a restaurant along an isolated stretch of highway. The key would be a big, homemade sign that says "Legitimate Restaurant", and everybody would stop and eat there, because they'd know that it's legitimate.
Experts claim computers 'could store entire life by 2026'. Researchers, Some and Others discuss social ramifications of said advances.
If you want to make the office a brighter place, you should at least once a day tell a co-worker, "I like your costume."
High-tech revolutionary Ray Kurzweil envisions "a future in which information technologies have advanced so far and fast that they enable humanity to transcend its biologicial limitations - transforming our lives in ways we can't yet imagine."
Slow down, Poindexter. . .what about the jet-packs and affordable lasers that they've been promising us for decades? Bastards.
"In accordance with the invention, there is provided rotatable apparatus capable of subjecting the mother and the fetus to a centrifugal force directed to assist and supplement the efforts of the mother so that such centrifugal force and her efforts act in concert to overcome the action of resisting forces and facilitate the delivery of the child."
For those of you who just had babies, I apologize for not getting this to you sooner. Maybe you can build it for next time.
"The universe made the 'quantum leap' to another universe in which six of the 10 dimensions collapsed and curled up into a tiny ball, allowing the remaining four dimensional universe to explode outward at an enormous rate."
Why the hell am I just now finding out about this?!
I've uploaded Resolution.
For some reason, either Windows Media Player or iTunes (not sure which) thinks this song is from the soundtrack of "Changing Lanes", a movie with that one black guy who's in every other movie and that one white guy who always appears to be dying to look directly into the camera when he acts.
We're getting sleet, but it's not really sticking. (I think I'm wearing too much lotion.)
"Yet one man claims that this is no ordinary stone, that instead it holds the secret of our missing pre-history". A look at celestial incidents, Atlantis, and the hallowed snake.
This here is what it's all about, folks.
I often worry that people might look at me differently if I were to give up on trying to train condors for the elderly.
Webster's defines wedding as "The act or process of removing weeds". Our wedding took place 15 years ago this week. Congratulations.
"The New Humans: A human upgrade program orchestrated by extraterrestrial contact; the evidence and implications".
This stuff is totally not a religion.
What a thanksgiving! This was one for the scrapbooks. . .
Ol' Mother Nature had thrown us one curveball we didn't expect, as the snowstorm picked up and made for trouble clean across the state. So we set out extra early - ain't no way we were going to miss Grandma's famous pumpkin gravy! But the weather caught up to us, and we got stuck in a rut just outside the county line. I got my shovel and started digging; it was the only choice we had. I dug my little heart out, but didn't seem to be gettin' no where, til I heard a voice. . .strong as the mountain, and yet soft as the summer hay. . .
"Show's over, boys!"
Holy cow - that's what Grandma used to say whenever she caught us skinny dipping in the molasses! It was Grandma! There she stood, trowel in one hand and gravy boat in t'other. . .She had spied us from the hillside, and come down to help! She laughed that magical laugh of hers, and that golden twinkle in her eye told me it was all gonna be alright. So, together, me and Grandma dug and dug, but we didn't seem to be getting nowhere. So finally, we sat down, and we had that gravy right there by the roadside, all 9 of us. Who woulda pictured such a sight! Then right before dark, a lone convoy come by and gave us a lift back to the base - we tiptoed in just in time to get the very last slice of ol' fashioned biscuit pie, and catch a peek at the stripper the sarge had hired. Well, the kids slept like logs that night, and as I tossed another fiddle on the fire, I lit up my pipe and leaned back and remembered to gave thanks for Grandma and all she'd done to make this a Thanksgiving to remember about.
Few things are worse than christmas movies.
On the plus side, though, when people in christmas movies get knocked down, they don't fall into water ('cuz it's frozen).
I keep forgetting to mention: not only do both Gilmore Girls need to shut the hell up, but so do their obnoxious friends.
Most people are familiar with the Bible's sensational ending in Revelation, but few appreciate the subtle, surprise twist unveiled hundreds of chapters earlier in Matthew:
"Not everyone who says to Me, 'Lord, Lord,' shall enter the kingdom of heaven, but he who does the will of My Father in heaven.
Many will say to Me in that day, 'Lord, Lord, have we not prophesied in Your name, cast out demons in Your name, and done many wonders in Your name?
And then I will declare to them, 'I never knew you; depart from Me, you who practice lawlessness!'"
I don't think it's fair how on The Brady Bunch, Bobby got to meet Joe Namath, and Peter got to meet Deacon Jones, but Greg never got the chance to get up-close-and-personal with Pete Gogolak.
If I could go back in time to the 1950's, one of the first things I'd do is to create an old west TV show called The Aforementioned. Picture a trio of smug outlaws camped in some rocks outside of town. . .
"Hey, I hear a horse coming."
"Couldn't be that nosey lawman. Boy, we sure gave him the slip."
"No, Boss - it's him! The Aforementioned!"
"God never uses compulsion to force any soul into receiving Him, even for their own benefit. God the Holy Ghost recognizes the human responsibility of a man's own choice, whether God shall save him or not."
What kind of crazy talk is this?! What a bunch of crazy talk.
Note to self:
Each F# in that one guitar sequence needs to be assigned a gate value of 200.
Bitch.
Steve, Don't Eat It!
The spherical time dimension in integrated consciousness.
(From the highly reputable India Daily).
WAYS I AM LIKE THE LONE RANGER
1. Snappy dresser
2. Probably pretty good with Indians
WAYS I AM NOT LIKE THE LONE RANGER
1. No gun
I'm sorry, but decades later, 60 Minutes is still the worst gameshow on television.
I've uploaded a reasonably satisfactory recording of "Too Far".
Unskilled and Unaware of It: How Difficulties in Recognizing One's Own Incompetence Lead to Inflated Self-Assessments.
(Because imbeciles are seldom clever enough to recognize that they're imbeciles).
I think it's kind of lame that so many people have tumors. It used to be just tough biker-types that would have them, but now it's common for anyone to get a tumor. The cheesiest one is that tribal armband that so many big burly meatheads have. Tumors just don't impress me.
I've always loved football, and I think I wanna finally become a coach. Ever since the earliest days, teams have been encrypting their plays with complex labels which indicate where the ball is going and to whom, in addition to conveying the formation and blocking assignments for each player. The only thing cooler than hearing a sideline coach communicating via strings of military-style code words is hearing the quarterback call them out at the line of scrimmage for all to hear (but only his teammates to understand). I want to design innovative strategies and give them names like:
Forty-four Frampton Larva Romp
Hors d'oeuvre Jettison Sleeze Pitch Left
Schmuck 28 Alfredo Bleach Puppet
I dream of the day I can enable the next Peyton Manning to look out over the defense, and, seeing an exploitable weakness, expertly audible "Prostate Green! Frock! Hades Frock! Leprosy!" and then throw to a wide-open halfback for an easy 14 yards.
There's a severed french fry in the sink. If no one claims it within 24 hours, I'm eating it.
Some foreign-looking guy is questioning President George W. Bush's signing of a fair, lawful and necessary bill.
To supplement the previous post, here's the alleged transcript of an alleged interview with alleged Area 51 microbiologist Dr. Dan Burisch.
An anonymous physicist shares some of the top-secret info he feels is important for the world to know.
The Cory Lidle airplane crash has generated mention of Thurman Munson's crash in 1979. At that time, my football team's pre-season training was just underway, and while chewing on our butts about how hard we need to work, the coach said "Look at Thurman Munson - he took a day off, and got himself killed!"
Flawless logic, I say. The danger of down time cannot be underestimated.
DEAR JERK (YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE):
WHAT GIVES YOU THE RIGHT TO JUDGE WHAT'S BUTTERY-TASTING AND WHAT ISN'T?! YOU SHOULD BE HONORED THAT I EVEN ATTEMPTED TO COOK FOR YOU.
According to Star Trek continuuity, about 25% of the earth's quartz turns out to be dilithium.
Does anyone else think that estimate is a little excessive? I mean, really. One-fourth?!
"Appeasement was designed to encourage Hitler to take action which would justify a declaration of war by the West. . .Germany was in the cross-hairs all along. Could the USA be in the same position today? Set up for failure?"
Police in Poland have launched a nationwide hunt for a man who farted loudly when asked what he thought of the president.
Local religious TV personalities Marcus & Joni Lamb have an awesome feature on their website called Funny Moments. You'll die laughing. Look out, Comedy Central.
Even better is their Top Family Movie Picks. Atop the list is "Passion", which turns out to be an Australian film about pianist Percy Grainger, who was into self-mutilation and was suspected of having an incestuous relationship with his mother. We can't wait to rent it for our Sunday school group.
Performance art piece entitled "Inthewrongplaceness" features a naked woman with a dead pig.
It turns out that Clay Aiken has sold more records than all the American Idol winners combined. What matters, though, is that if those same Idols chased Clay into a corner, they could easily beat the crap out of him.
(Click image to embiggen.)
The legendary "Mr. Banjo", Buck Trent.
Too bad. . .I was hoping to trademark the thumbs-up for myself, but I guess he beat me to it.
"The 11th Tablet of the 'Epic of Gilgamesh' relates the secret story that has been kept from humanity during the Great Flood".
Secret story. Perfect! That's a real break, because certain non-secret information that has been plainly available for centuries just really rubs us the wrong way.
I'm polishing up a really good song called "The Virgin Mary (Is Dead)". I'm not sure how available I'm going to make it, though, since I'm not really keen on attracting too much attention from any aggressive members of the Catholic community (for instance, the type who cross themselves right after they whack somebody). People don't like it when you screw with their idols.
So there was a road crew at work near a busy intersection. Among their equipment was that little unicycle-looking thing they use to paint stripes on the pavement. I thought it'd be great if one of the workers began riding it while juggling traffic cones, but no one did. Street performers are really underrated.
"Goat-free roads made me speed."
(With goat photograph!)
Bat, trimmer, hammer used in lawn brawl.
Conspiracists Allege U.S. Seizing Vast South American Reservoir.
Are we not aware of what Fremen do to water-stealers?!
"Early in World War II, the Superman comic book published an episode in which Superman demolished part of the German West Wall with France. A copy found its way to Das Schwarze Korps, the weekly newspaper of the SS. It naturally was not pleased."
We just went to see "Invincible". It wasn't bad. I liked how even though people told the guy all his life that he was ugly, in the end it didn't matter because he turned out to be invincible.
Fruitless tangents rule!
(Also, go Bears!)
Last week's Dallas Observer interview with Jerry Casale.
Devo just kicked all our asses. Their set-list included "Mongoloid" and "Cyclops" and "Smart Patrol/Mr. DNA", and their encore featured "Freedom Of Choice" and "Gut Feeling/Slap Your Mammy". It was totally worth sitting through the two opening bands in the 99° dusk heat (which really only felt like a mere 88°). The Psychedelic Furs weren't bad, but When In Rome played what sounded like the same song 5 times.
The show was sponsored by Dos Lunas Tequila. Interestingly, for those unaware, dos lunas is Spanish for "two lunas".
Devo. If you get the opportunity to see them, do so.
You know what the world needs? A Nerf™ telegraph that runs on sexahol.
I hate when Friday The 13th falls on a weekend.
About once a year I find myself inside a Radio Shack to purchase something minor, such as a cable adaptor. Until now, I'd never seen a woman working there, but there was one today. I can only assume she took the job because she hates herself.
"Immediate space law legislation is, thus, needed for the initial contact with the tread of life on a sister planet and the development of human civilization on Mars in the 21st century."
There's talk of an Arrested Development movie.
I wish we'd taken a pic of the girl running the banana stand at Cedar Point in Ohio. She looked just like Maeby.
So there was some trash in our yard, which we get from time to time living on a main street as we do. I went to get it and put it with our own trash (which we keep in a trash bag). Near the new trash was a bagged copy of Peter Parker The Spectacular Spider-Man #56, from 1981. In my yard.
No idea whose it is or where it came from.
Despite being in what collectors would classify as "poor" condition, it's in decent shape. The cover is slightly faded, and there's a mild crease near the bottom of each page.
A guy on eBay is selling this issue in Near Mint/Mint condition for $200.
Psychic government surveillance of extra-terrestrial operations on the moon.
Darth Vader: Coffee Drinker. I finally found someone else who noticed this bit from Marvel's old Star Wars #1 (which is good since I didn't feel like paying $8 for a copy of the issue or $29.99 for the Dark Horse trade paperback in which it's reprinted just so I could scan it.)
Except, instead of coffee, I always assumed the cup was full of ginger tea.
Guess who Homeboy is going to see on August 18?
(I'm Homeboy).
I did some reading about Kurt Gödel, philosopher of mathematics and associate of Albert Einstein, and saw several accounts relating his alleged discovery of a loophole in the U.S. constitution that could allow for a dictatorship to be established in America.
I don't care for sensationalism, and typically take this kind of stuff with a grain of salt, but the mere idea of our current "leader" obtaining unrestricted power is quite disturbing.
I don't advocate doing drugs. Drugs are bad. However, whenever the next new insidious substance hits the streets, I think a great name for it would be Wookiee Butter.
Here's a bitchin'-cool series of articles on how the visual aspects of Solomon's temple and its contents represent a human form, including tangible symbols for the eyes, nose, brain, and other organs.
If it's wrong of me to assume that American quarters and dimes have ridges around the edges in memory of both George Washington's and Dwight Eisenhower's chronic eczema, then I don't want to be right.
For the hell of it, I googled my own name (which I learned from a Homer Simpson) and found an old message board thread mentioning me back when I was a customer service Lead and we handled issues as a vendor for uBid.com. I remember this guy Pete, and what a headache he was. I now recall vividly how buried I felt trying to do a job that was truly a no-win situation. . .the managers allowed me only so many avenues by which to solve problems, and their stance was that the customer could play ball our way or not at all. Meanwhile, customers would tend to liberally interpret your comments (like me saying that we'd have a guy's replacement item looked over before shipment translates into me-swearing-a-blood-oath-that-I'd-drop-everything-and-take-care-of-it-personally-because-he's-our-only-fucking-customer-and-I-have-plenty-of-time-to-babysit-him). Damn. Now I'm gonna dream about this shit tonight.
http://www.gotapex.com/got-deals/48352-dell-p1110-21-trinitron-monitor-260-usd-shipped-2.html
It's pretty sad that I'm suddenly feeling overwhelmed again by a job I haven't worked in 2½ years.
Dear Dairy,
It's 20° cooler here in Indiana than it is at home. Derek says that each time he goes out, more and more people recognize him from MySpace, and somehow he's become a celebrity to all the kids with no life. I don't know yet just how I can exploit this, but hope to figure something out. The bottom line is that he's useless as a source of easy money - I saw his paycheck for the amount of $13.50 from Hot Topic. Most kids get more allowance than that.
Also, I weigh 151 lbs. and Canadian football is on.
Cats That Look Like Hitler.
My new weekly feature Focus On Clowns kicks off with this from News Of The Weird:
"Speaking to an international medical meeting in Prague in June, Israeli fertility doctor Shevach Friedler said his research team had found that women exposed to brief entertainment by clowns were successful at in-vitro fertilization at almost twice the rate of women who had no clown exposure. Friedler, who is also a trained mime, attributed the difference to greater stress reduction."
As we all know, clowns have always played a significant role in human reproduction. We'll look into this further over the next couple of weeks.
Truly, the best show on television is TBN's Pastor Greg, which boldly declares itself "The World's First Christian Sitcom".
It's just too clever - someone is always getting sprayed by a skunk, or hit in the face with a pie. . .but it's okay, because the skunks and pies are all Christian. Season 1 is available on DVD, so I know exactly what I'm giving all of you for Xmas this year.
It's so awful: I took "I Just Want To Stop", the biggest hit of douche-pop veteran Gino Vannelli, slowed it to half-speed and detuned it, then layered over it a frantic-sounding string quartet by Bartók.
Enjoy.
"December 21, 2012 signals the commencement of a new World Age, one that has successfully transformed, purified, and renewed the previous cycle of time. An essential component of this is conscious human participation, a willing openness to the process."
(Hopefully, though, ample "motivation" will be provided for any unyielding recusants to join the fatuity.)
The first-ever 3-D crop circle appears in an English field.
I wonder what Associated Newspapers Ltd. would pay a proofreader to catch things like the improper spelling of "its" (meaning "belonging to it", spelled incorrectly here with an apostrophe).
Deep Thoughts By Jack Handey. Some of my all-time favorite inspiration (each of my song page quotes is modeled accordingly). The very first one I ever heard was the one about falling off the Sears tower. The funniest one ever is the lament about the mosquito and the mummy - I read it at work once, and had to leave the room so none of the other employees would see me spasming and call 9-1-1.
This is some pretty old stuff, however. Being under the weather has left me without a lot to say. Don't be surprised if you find a dancing baby here before long.
This just in:
The kingdom of darkness is an invisible kingdom of non-living mechanical robots who are about 6 inches tall and completely invisible to human eyes!
I'm glad that's been clarified.
Here is an interesting article looking at the engineering behind ancient Israel's Ark Of The Covenant, asserting that it likely functioned as a powerful electrical battery.
If I were to say "Me like ape", would your first impression be that I'm stating that I'm fond of an ape, or that I'm similar to an ape?
I'm guessing it might depend on what I'm wearing when I say it.
The new Superman movie strikes a perfect balance. . .equal parts ham & cheese. Much of the film features the Man of Steel, aglow in Maybelline's finest, posing and posturing like a male figure skater soaking up the crowd's adoration from atop the medal podium. This flick was far too self-conscious, and seemed hopelessly affixed to the coattails of the Christopher Reeve series.
They did, however, present the iconic Lois Lane as the very essence of what she has always been to the American public: a 22-year-old with a mustache.
I miss Uncle Bobby. I think he was my mommy's uncle. I never met him, but he was a musician, and the logic is that this makes him and me Two Of A Kind - because I screw with music, too! He used to play boogie-woogie on the piano, and it was just a delight. I remember how every time he would wink at me, it made me feel Extra Special inside. I miss all that.
After cleansing my palate with a paste made of baking soda and algae, I sampled the Blāk. . .
It has the mundane taste of a bad syrupy cola you could get from a poorly maintained soda fountain. The aroma, however, is different - kind of like brownies soaked in rubbing alcohol. I'm pretty sure you could get high from it.
Worst of all, my grocery receipt says I paid $1.79 for this 8 ounces of trendy brown hype. I'm not sure any beverage on earth is worth that kind of money. Believe me, if I had a time machine, I'd go back and buy a completely different drink than this one, probably with a coupon that has since expired.
This blog and its enormous staff was first made aware of Coke Blāk by our Illinoise correspondent. I had the opportunity to purchase this product moments ago. The label identifies it as a "Carbonated Fusion Beverage". Clearly, such a drink is to be heralded as a scientific breakthrough. I will be issuing a full analysis upon consumption of the aforementioned substance.
In the meantime, consider that in dictionaries, long vowels are marked with the macron (ā as in maven), which explains why my impulse to refer to the new cola as "Coke Blake" is so strong - almost too strong. Can this smooth-yet-sophisticated new flavor overcome such an obstacle? Only time will tell. Stand by.
And God help us all. . .
I got to see all of R. Kelly's "Trapped In The Closet" this weekend. . .
Timeless. The rhyming of "Bridget" with "midget" is nothing less than a triumph.
The premise of the story is simply universal. If you look closely enough, you just might see yourself.
Bush Says Iran Must Respond Soon.
(Apparently, they have until 3rd period P.E. to cough up their lunch money, or we kick their ass).
Teen Girl Squad is the Best Thing Ever.
So I was searching for info on screwing with MySpace's mp3 player, but ended up redirected to an article on how important it is to get regular mammograms, especially after age 40. Where do those breast cancer awareness people get off shoving their views down my throat and telling me how to live?!
"The wars of the future will not be fought on the battlefield or at sea. They will be fought in space, or possibly on top of a very tall mountain. In either case, most of the actual fighting will be done by small robots. And as you go forth today remember always your duty is clear: To build and maintain those robots. Thank you."
The NBA Finals are underway, and after Dallas took Game 1, Miami coach Pat Riley says the Heat should be disguised.
How they gonna be disguised?! It say 'HEAT' right up on they shirts!
$50 billion. You'd think that instead of military action we could spend this kind of money on feeding people, or even terraforming Oklahoma.
Aw, yeeaaahhh: Left Behind: the video game. "The game rewards children for how effectively they role play the killing of those who resist becoming a born again Christian."
Alls I can say is "WTFWJD?"
I love bad reviews.
600-60-6. Chi Xi Stigma, in the Greek. Call me Mr. Wacky, but I suspect the that the infamous Mark Of The Beast will be more than a mere tattoo, barcode or microchip. I speculate that - when the time comes - it will involve some sort of genetic "upgrade" (and conceivably a kind of bio-engineered "immortality"), rendering the recipient no longer entirely human, and therefore ineligible for a particular relationship currently offered each member of mankind.
Our grocery store's generic version of Cap'n Crunch Crunchberries is called Crisp Berry Crunch, and it's just as good. What's notable is that this cereal is a civilian enterprise, so hopefully people will recognize that the military never should have been involved to begin with.
So the new Batwoman is gay. oh-my-what-a-scandal-stop-the-world. Gay and lesbian campaign group Outrage claims creating a lesbian hero is merely about "pandering to the fantasies of male readers". . .which to me is deplorable, because fiction has never, ever been about pandering to anyone's fantasies.
I'm hoping for the folks at Outrage to do the American thing and sue.
I met a guy at a card game tourney once who really hated Batman, claiming he was a pedophile, and pointing out how sick he was hiding in the shadows while sending a brightly dressed kid out into the line of fire.
Kreia is actually more Bene Gesserit than Jedi.
So they've remade "The Omen". No surprise, since there's only, like, eight five old movies left that haven't been cannibalized and regurgitated by Hollywood zombies. But they didn't have to get Julia Stiles all mixed up in it. Sons of bitches.
Memorial Day means summer is here, so it's time for the Catch 22 On Cloud 9 annual Swimsuit Feature.
So at midnight we went to see a movie called "X-Men", but it turned out not to be porn at all. Pretty good, though.
Shadowcat was awesome.
Halle Berry's every move and every word screamed "I am an actress!"
At one point, Magnetico sounded just like Dr. Orpheus.
I only wonder whether or not Spock will actually stay dead.
So we're back, after being away all week. It was nice to be outside of TV reception, as I just don't watch much, beyond a few cartoons. Shows like Dharma & Grace or Seinfield. . .I've never seen them, and just don't care.
(This post was sponsored by Katrina Storm Sauce.)
I like to think of myself as The Little Engineer Who Could, And Then Couldn't, And Then Could Again But Only After A Lot Of Cosmetic Surgery.
Apparently Golden Mattress Company, Inc. advertises on their truck(s) that their name is Golden Mattress Company, Inc., which raises a number of unpleasant questions. I bet Mattress Giant is kicking their ass - sure he's big and dumb, but he knows comfort, and the experimental therapy has really tamed his berserker rage.
I just now realized that Key Scale Panning is my 'nother bitch.
One thing I miss from my job is how Happy Days would always be on during lunch. I loved finding out what kind of hair-brained scheme Fonzie would get himself into each day.
Sure, I could always just turn it on here at home, but it's not the same as hearing co-workers laughing and discussing it.
Damn straight, we need to boycott and/or picket "The Da Vinci Code". After all, the Son of God must need us to protect Him. Yeah.
I'm pretty sure that my Charisma is 7 + the Intellect & Wisdom modifiers of whoever it is that's approaching me.
Aeon Flux vs. UltraViolet
So we saw "Mission Impossible: 3". The bit where brother Cruise, atop a stone wall he just scaled, looks into the camera and says "Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall" is possibly the gayest thing I've ever seen.
Looks like they actually made an Azrael figure for the HeroClix game. Coool. And they got him right, too, because the Veteran version gets a little tougher right before he reaches KO, and the Rookie one is affiliated with Batman Enemies.
"Every person is a God in embryo. Its only desire is to be born."
-- Deepak Chopra
(I think he may be some rapper; I'm not certain).
The company I was laid off from 2 years ago has just shut down for good. The collapse was precipitated by our $10 million investment in the crappy Oracle software. Then my comrades in Jersey were closed down, and it snowballed from there. It was a really screwed-up place, with too many employees who were deeply in touch with their Inner Dumbass.
Matt Leinart Wins Beauty Contest Portion Of NFL Draft
Sorry everything is spinning.
You know what's sad? When you defeat Darth Nihilus, you can get his mask, but you can't wear it. I really wanted to be Mr. Spooky for the rest of the game.
Preparing us for "our next evolutionary leap" via "the ultimate human experience - enlightenment".
'Cuz we're there, folks. Look at ourselves, at the world. . .how can we NOT be on the very threshold of ascension to godhood?! What a joy it will be to advance hand-in-hand with our glorious, non-lying Space Brothers as they guide us selflessly into new realms.
So I've been watching "Yes: 9012Live", which just came out on DVD. Quite a little snapshot of 80s excess. Still, I love looking back at that period and contrasting myself with the popular preppie kids from school. . .
I had 2 or 3 Yes shirts I would wear, and long hair, and I did an English class essay on Tales From Topographic Oceans. I think almost nobody else knew who Yes was. Then the hugely mainstream 90125 album came out about the time I disappeared, and I speculate on how many of those party-hearty valley persons took the time to investigate this "new" hit band and discover the older albums, and maybe even broaden their pinhead horizons beyond last week's Duran Duran video.
The only problem is that having this kind of smug know-it-all attitude is reminiscent of the kind of fuck-up I don't want to be.
(Bonus link.)
I just noticed the sayings printed on our roll of Sparkle paper towels:
"I can't change the direction of the wind,
but I can adjust my sails
to always reach my destination."
Wow. Inspired, I began to unroll it to see what else it had to impart, like some ancient scroll of wisdom, but it only features the one adage. Still, how can I clean the microwave now with such a philosophical manuscript, ultra-absorbant or not? I'm more inclined to hide them away in an air-tight vault, available for viewing only by the most solemn and devoted of souls.
I've uploaded a new song called What I'm Saying. Please listen, if you have four minutes to spare.
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